My mother knows I cut myself and doesn't really care. I try not to because I understand how much it upsets the people I care about most in my life. I've only done it once after that last post. And it didn't really help. It doesn't help anymore. I do it because I hope it will and it's just made me feel worse. It's more of a routine now. But, the opportunity is occurring less and less now so that makes it much easier. I'm just afraid for next time.
I'm not eating as much as I probably should be and I'm afraid that I'm possibly going to stop again. It wasn't a fun time trying to start eating regularly again and I don't want to go back to that.
Elliot and I have first period together. We talk and get along because we like the same things and such (well, duh, we were best friends). I still find it slightly awkward, but we both ignore the fact that we were ever more than people who talk a bit in school when they have nothing else to do at the end of class. Now that I think about it, that's really sad. And idt I'll ever be there for him. He comes to me, I'm going to slap him and tell him what he did to me and tell him he lost his chance. I know that it's harsh, but I can't stand it.
As soon as we got back from the Colorado trip, both my parents got good jobs here. Finally some stability. Yeah, things are still tight, but we finally have a bit of free money. We might be filling bankruptcy, but I don't think it's absolutely necessary, it's just because some company wouldn't take a payment plan and now they're suing us. Great.
There's so much more I wish I could tell you... It's just not something I can post on here... This is most of it... I think at least. Everything I'm willing to show to everyone. And it's a hell of a lot. So, I'll try and update if anything major happens. More for myself than for anybody else.
