Yet another post about me moving

So my parents have changed their mind once again. Now moving is an option again. My mom doesn't want to be the only one working and the whole family agrees that it'd probably be better in the long run. I mean I've always wanted to live in CO and stuff and it's so nice there and everything. It's only $150 to fly to OR from there, and I'd love to go home. But, I don't want this to be yet another fail at trying to find something better. And I don't want the friends here to just be another name on a computer screen that I'll probably never see in person again. I'm just scared... Especially because of the fact that I've got a boyfriend right now... I don't want to have to cut that short and just ditch it... *sigh* I wish they'd just hurry up and decide already. This can't be good for my mental health.

Moving Update

So somehow our mortgage has been prepaid until November. Now we can stay here until then at least (unless my parents want to move before then). That means fall show will be over (most likely) =). Also, my dad just got an opportunity to take a test to get a job at AT&T. That has the potential to be the job he's been looking for. I don't care if you're religious or not, please pray. I don't want to leave. I know when people say that the people reading it usually just pray at that point and forget. Please don't forget. Make it a nightly thing. I know I will. I don't want to leave you guys. I don't want to leave Studio West. I would love to live in Colorado, but not now. I want more than 3 months... I want as much time as I can get.

Moving

So we're probably moving. We'd be leaving around September. I mean there are worse places to move than Colorado. I've always wanted to live in Colorado. And I do hate it here, but I don't WANT to leave. I have friends that I trust with my life. I mean after I'm gone, who's going to be able to hold me accountable if they find fresh cuts on my hands? Or if they notice that I stop eating? I love creating myself over again, especially in a serious drama and musical theatre program (and a thespian troupe). (They have that at the main highschool in Boulder (the town my parents are looking at.)) I'll most likely be out of fall show here and there though. But, moving after school has started does make me the center of attention. I don't want to have to open up to somebody all over again. I'm going to have to be fake all the time. No calling somebody and crying on the phone for over an hour and then going and hanging out with them the next day. And I don't want to be known as "that emo girl" if I end up crying in the middle of school. I've done that a few times here. And Cumming especially is so behind on any sort of fashion, I don't want to look like I'm from the sticks, because I'm not. I'm from Portland. That artsy town in Oregon. Not the middle of nowhere, Georgia. They have BBYO (Binai Brith Youth Organization) (Jewish youth group) there, which I love a lot more than USY (the other organized Jewish youth group, which is the one they have here). But it's really difficult just to jump into a chapter. These kids will have been with each other since Jr. Kadima (4th-7th grade youth group) at the latest. And then just popping in in 10th grade! Yeah, you're welcomed, but they have so many memories together already, it's awkward. And the high school is so big! I didn't take a S.S. this year, what if I need 4 S.S. credits to graduate? And I don't want to have to take Spanish again next year, I'd fail. But, what if they require 3 years of foreign language? Would they accept a credit if I did Hebrew online? Or with my Synagogue? What math class would I be put in? What about Science? What if they do everything in a different order, would I have to take a class with freshies? I'm so afraid. I mean I could change their minds, but being here with my mom working full time and my father being "primary parent" would turn out horribly in the long run. I'm trying to think of my brother. You guys don't know a whole lot about my father because he's always fucking things up and I don't want the whole world to know how shitty he is. And now I just don't know what to do about my friends (you know who you are that I'm specifically talking about)... It's not even for sure that we're moving. I just told you guys because I can't deal with this by myself....

So I told you guys

Hi guys. I might maybe keep updating this, you never know =P